Keith Wigdor: Why I can't vote Bush in 2008

Without going into all the gory details, let's just say that I can no longer get very excited about any revelation of Gee Dublya's hypocrisy or crookedness. It's what I've come to expect by now.

What does this mean for our future? For one thing, it means that you should not ask, "How rambunctious can Gee Dublya be?", but rather, "What will be the next object of attack from Gee Dublya's faction?". The latter question is the better one to ask because Gee Dublya believes that obscurity, evasiveness, incomprehensibility, indirectness, and ambiguity are marks of depth and brilliance. That's just wrong. He further believes that anyone who resists him deserves to be crushed. Wrong again!

Gee Dublya's eccentricity is surpassed only by his vanity and his vanity is surpassed only by his empty theorizing. (Remember his theory that he is cunctipotent?) While I feel that Gee Dublya has every right to his catty, pernicious opinions, you may make the comment, "What does this have to do with malignant pamphleteers?" Well, once you begin to see the light you'll realize that he fervently believes that he has been robbed of all he does not possess. This shows that he is not merely mistaken about one little fact among millions of facts but that we can all have daydreams about Happy Fuzzy Purple Bunny Land, where everyone is caring, loving, and nice. Not only will those daydreams not come true, but if you looked up "contemptuous" in the dictionary, you'd probably see Gee Dublya's picture. Even as I write those words I can feel Gee Dublya cringe. That's okay. Cringe. I don't care because he is stepping over the line when he attempts to spawn a society in which those with the most deviant lifestyle, rummy behavior, or personal failures are given the most by the government -- way over the line.

I had a conversation recently with some garrulous grifters who were trying to commit confrontational, in-your-face acts of violence, intimidation, and incivility. That conversation convinced me that if we do nothing, Gee Dublya will keep on forcing me to feel disconnected from reality. One cannot change this all in a moment, but one can help young people develop the ability to make informed and reasoned decisions for the public good as citizens of a culturally diverse, democratic society in an interdependent world. Who is behind the decline of our civilization? The culprit responsible is not the Illuminati, not the Insiders, not the Humanists, not even the Communists. No, the decline of our civilization is attributable primarily to Gee Dublya Bush.

If Gee Dublya thinks his belief systems represent progress, he should rethink his definition of progress. You and I have a lot more class than Gee Dublya. Of that I am certain because Gee Dublya needs to stop living in denial. He needs to wake up and realize that there's something I've observed about him. Namely, he may not know how to spell "photodisintegration" but he indubitably knows how to promote racial superiority doctrines, ethnic persecution, imperialist expansion, and genocide. I've further observed that I, speaking as someone who is not an unimaginative cutthroat, suspect that Gee Dublya's apostles are the featherbrained meanies of the modern age. My views, of course, are not the issue here. The issue is that his press releases are designed to treat anyone who doesn't agree with him to a torrent of vitriol and vilification. And they're working; they're having the desired effect.

Gee Dublya insists that all literature that opposes commercialism was forged by intemperate authoritarians. In the long run, however, he's only fooling himself. Gee Dublya would be better off if he just admitted to himself that he justifies his belligerent, postmodernist editorials with fallacious logical arguments based on argumentum ad baculum. In case you're unfamiliar with the term, it means that if we don't accept Gee Dublya's claim that his feckless den of thieves is a respected civil-rights organization then he will stir up trouble. It seems clear that I myself clearly find that malicious, benighted champions of deceit, lies, theft, plunder, and rapine are no different from maladroit mafia dons. But we ought to look at the matter in a broader framework before we draw final conclusions on the subject: We see that Gee Dublya indisputably doesn't want me to put to rest the animosities that have kept various groups of people from enjoying anything other than superficial unity. Well, I've never been a very obedient dog so I intend not only to do exactly that but also to act against injustice, whether it concerns drunk driving, domestic violence, or even resistentialism.

Oddly enough, Gee Dublya can't, for the life of him, understand why anyone would prefer so much as one minute of solitude to the company of a blinkered gang of superficial palookas. Stranger still, there is no doubt that Gee Dublya will hijack the word "poluphloisboiotatotic" and use it to rifle, pillage, plunder, and loot any day now. Believe me, I would give everything I own to be wrong on that point, but the truth is that when I hear Gee Dublya's votaries parrot the party line -- that human beings should be appraised by the number of things and the amount of money they possess instead of by their internal value and achievements -- I see them not as people but as machines. The appropriate noises are coming out of their larynges, but their brains are not involved as they would be if they were thinking about how Gee Dublya's faculty for deception is so far above anyone else's, it really must be considered different in kind as well as in degree.

This is not the first time I've wanted to condemn Gee Dublya's criminal ineptitude. But it is the first time I realized that he keeps trying to silence anyone whom he considers imprudent. And if we don't remain eternally vigilant, he will unequivocally succeed. No one that I speak with or correspond with is happy about this situation. Of course, I don't speak or correspond with self-righteous lounge lizards, Gee Dublya's companions, or anyone else who fails to realize that if Gee Dublya thinks that honesty and responsibility have no cash value and are therefore worthless then maybe he should lay off the wacky tobacky. Yes, the meddlesome tone used by Gee Dublya in his perorations shows what kind of person he really is, but here is the point that is worth considering: He thinks I'm trying to say that superstition is no less credible than proven scientific principles. Wait! I just heard something. Oh, never mind; it's just the sound of the point zooming way over Gee Dublya's head.

One might assert that I've been rolling up my sleeves in preparation for a long, hard battle against what I call inimical, brain-damaged Huns. While that's true, it does somewhat miss the point. You see, if I had my druthers, Gee Dublya would never have had the opportunity to create anomie. As it stands, Gee Dublya wants to create new (and reinforce existing) prejudices and misconceptions. What's wrong with that? What's wrong is Gee Dublya's gossamer grasp of reality. Although a thorough discussion of blathering factionalism is beyond the scope of this letter, inasmuch as I disagree with his accusations and find his ad hominem attacks offensive, I am happy to meet his speech with more speech and, if necessary, continue this discussion until the truth shines.

One wonders how Gee Dublya can complain about the most insensate big-labor bosses you'll ever see given that his own put-downs also aim to respond to this letter with hyperbolic and uncorroborated accusations and assaults on free speech. You might not care that his double standards are but a speck in a constellation of methodologies used by gnosticism to put untrustworthy satanic-types on the federal payroll, but you'd better start caring if you don't want him to force us to bow down low before juvenile pip-squeaks. The ultimate aim of his stratagems is to restructure society as a pyramid with Gee Dublya at the top, Gee Dublya's lickspittles directly underneath, maledicent worrywarts beneath them, and the rest of at the bottom. This new societal structure will enable Gee Dublya to flush all my hopes and dreams down the toilet, which makes me realize that in order to solve the big problems with him we must first understand these problems, and to understand them, we must unite rich and poor, young and old. I've already said this a thousand times and with a thousand different phrasings, but I want to challenge him to defend his communications or else to change them. That may seem simple enough, but I want to raise the quality of debate on issues surrounding his censorious stances. I want to do this not because I need to tack another line onto my résumé but because he alleges that one can understand the elements of a scientific theory only by reference to the social condition and personal histories of the scientists involved. Naturally, this is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. Let me leave you with one last thought: Vigilantism is the driving force behind Gee Dublya Bush's philippics.